Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Ascetic groom

Well, first of all a disclaimer is called for. Do not expect too many words of wisdom and tips for arranging an Indian wedding in these posts. What actually is at offer are the snippets of my close encounters with Indian weddings. After having spent almost 34 years on this planet earth, and that too in India and that too in North India, sharing few interesting trvia of an Indian wedding, is all that I will do.

Also although I will be sharing my thoughts about my rendezvous with various regional Indian weddings, but since my first hand experience has been in North Indian weddings, most of the anecdotes will take reference from there. Also if I am talking about the "Bigness and fatness" of weddings I have nowhere to go but to North India.

A for the Ascetic Groom

So here we begin our A to Z of the Big Fat Indian Wedding.

All Indian weddings are a heap of traditions and rituals, being followed from almost the stone age.  They might have had  relevance in the context of yester years, but now nobody has any time or inclination to look at the thought behind them as long as they are good enough to keep all the guests engaged.

One of such ritual enactment is done at the Groom's side. On the day of the wedding or a day prior, the Groom pretends to be ascetic and on the verge of renouncing the world. He wants be a scholar and go for Kashi for his studies. This is like a final opportunity for the groom to leave before the bride enters his life. Midst of all the fun and frolic and the ongoing ceremonies, he has to  leave the marriage hall in half clad clothes. (Generally a dhoti tied to waist) He then has to be persuaded by his sister to come back and get married. The sister should dissuade him from  further studies and bring him back to worldly ways of leading a life. In Tamil weddings, the relatives or father of the bride are given the task to get the groom back.

All the rituals and traditions in the hindu wedding, have a symbolic, spiritual or philosophical meaning. Like the ritual of ascetic groom, would have been quite relevant in good old days, when the knots were tied in the childhood. And before you actually took the responsibility of your bride and the family, it was important that you had the required education or skills to fend  for yourself.

On my brother's wedding day too , my brother was told to leave the hall and go for further studies and I had to go, talk, convince and get him back. Well that was easy... I just had to tell him that higher studies was a great idea and he should pursue it, but that can wait till the wedding. These days they do have option of married hostels easily available in the campus.

Another A of wedding not to be missed

Aunties : If you have been to a north Indian wedding, you would have seen, that the charm and excitement of the hoopla hovers around those middle aged and old ladies, who have a song ready for each occasion. They are also the ones who will be cracking most of those funny "Non Veg" jokes to add up spice in the air. A bundle of giggles and heap of gossip ,the "Aunties" make the Indian Weddings fun.

So the A to Z trivia of the Indian Wedding starts from today. Do tune in everyday, same place but different times, to ravel into the extravaganza.


  1. I have never been to an Indian wedding but have a number of Indian friends and look forward to you taking on this journey. I do understand a lot of the traditions so this will be interesting.

  2. Hey I have got few things to say!!!

    1. I love your theme
    2. Ascetic Grooms - nailed it with the adjective
    3. Aunties are inevitable part of weddings
    4. Ratan Tata idolizer (saw in twitter) - Awesome!

    Lots of love and luck to you!!

  3. aaha :) Yes, ' Kasi Yatra' is the journey's name :) And the father of the bride has to present him with some scriptures, which a 'grihasthaashrami' should possess :) Lovely narration , Apoorva :) Hugs !!

  4. This tradition is quite funny and I witnessed it for the first time in Chennai at a friend's wedding! The groom was also clueless! :)

  5. i never knew this was prevalent up north! BTW pllss do share pics of the wedding here... will be susch a feast for oyur eyes :)

  6. I never knew about the ascetic tradition...
    And yes the inevitable Aunties, almost the soul of Indian weddings, they are the ones who spice things up and keep things running!
    Love your theme! I look forward to reading more fun facts...!

  7. I've never been to an Indian wedding, so this is particularly interesting as I love to learn about different cultures. Looking forward to the next instalment! :)

  8. Is it for studies. I thought sanyas... :P
    I just hope the modern generation does not use it to run away as in films like "Gori tere pyar mein"!!! :)

  9. I have heard about the tradition of kashi going... would be fun to actually watch it
    Ahha Aunties :D they add the spice to the weddings :)

  10. haha I have only heard of it. How I wish Vikas got this opportunity and perhaps run away :D :D


  11. I have never been to an Indian wedding and amazed they are steeped with so many interesting customs and traditions. I look forward to reading more about them. ♥

  12. :-) Every once in a while, I love to attend a wedding, but simply as an onlooker. Oh yes, the aunties - and the uncles who have the tradition of having at least one fight!


    Blogging Betties: Are you one?

    1. Yes a wedding is incomplete without a fight or a frown :)

  13. Fun theme, can't get any fatter and bigger than the Indian wedding. Good for the aunties and uncles, not so much for the poor grooms and brides :)
    Best wishes,

  14. Lol... those aunties are crazy funny. I've heard about the ascetic groom although we don't have it. I think each of us has different customs.. there are so many of them.

  15. What an apt name, yet Ascetic groom is the right word. This was a fun and enlightening post. Eager to read more :-)

  16. Do you know what my husband said when he went on his 'ascetic' yatra? He said Kashi was too boring and he was going to Leela beach, Goa :P

    Nice take on the theme :)

  17. Great theme - will follow for sure and be a Master of Indian weddings (I only had my Big Fat Greek Wedding myself:-) :-) Where we btw also have the aunties..:-) Ha ha - So enjoyed reading - very informative and funny too. The picture is so fun. Those aunties can rock it:-)

  18. The aunties take the cake, don't they. I was part of a bride's party for a Tamilian Catholic wedding where the boy's maternal aunt gets to dress the bride! Not fun, I tell you! ;)

  19. I can't stand the aunties even now... simply cos... right the moment they say me they start with "When's your marriage, Beta?"... Ufff!!!

  20. Totally loved this article...some of things mentioned like I have observed and experienced. Beautiful!

  21. Interesting theme!
    Will stay tuned to get informed about many other different wedding traditions.

  22. Interesting post...I have seen the ritual where the groom pretends to run away before marriage and is brought back by his sisters/cousins. Aunties are in top gear during weddings and are the life of the ceremonies :)

  23. Was not aware of this tradition of a Ascetic Groom! Never seen/heard in the weddings here! Will check with Mom!
    Aah, the aunties can be fun and can embarrass the hell out of you too :D

  24. I loved the theme Shiva. Yes the aunties are the centre of attraction. They add colour and spice to the weddings.


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