Wednesday, December 25, 2013

I Read so I am

As I was strolling mindlessly in the world of blogs, I bumped into theme from my dearest Richa Singh, the Philospher", which connects straight to my heart...I Read. So what if it is already late, as it can never be too late to talk about your love. The minute you want to show your love is just the perfect time to do that.

Books ... this word always rings such bells in my heart. The library of my imagination floats in front of me, when I think books and close my eyes. It gives me shivers when I imagine my life without books, without words, without expressions. And I am so sure that this feeling is not very unique to me..infact in the world we all connect..I mean the our blogging sphere, most of us have a special place for books in their lives. As nothing comes nearer to the truth than the fact that "A hand that never held a book, is not worthy of holding a pen to spread the magic of words" (Quote Credit - Yours truly)

As it always happens, the things that you hold close to your heart, are the toughest to talk about. And this happens because you always keep searching for the best things to say, keep looking for the fittest words that will tell the tale of your love, the way you feel. That is what I am currently struggling with, thinking where should I start and what should I tell. Should I  begin from the very beginning of this love affair, or share the high points of our relationship, or may be just tell you what my life would have been without books.

So I have decided to make this post a pot pourri. I will randomly talk about all that I very strongly feel about ba loo ba la books!!!

My first Book - The first book of my life that I proudly called my own was a very dear gift on my third birthday by one of my father's very close friend, whom I call "Durgesh Booa". It was a lovely looking book, with a big bun (I still remember how tempting it looked) on its cover page ...The book was a graphic book called "The Bun". Although I could not read and understand it completely at that age, but I still  remember how eagerly I used to turn each page, look at the pictures and form a story in my mind. However senseless it might have been, but my belief today that each book talks to you, and that each book is unique to its reader and tells a story the reader wants to read, I think has its root in this book. I cannot thank my Booa enough for introducing me to the love of my life.

My first Read - And somewhere between the "The Bun" and "Black Beauty" i grew up. Black Beauty is a book I met when I was in Class 3, and this is such a prized possession. Because this one I earned..I got it from my school principal for something they used to call "Proficiency in English". I wonder at that age did I even know what "Proficient" actually meant. But anyways, for the right or the wrong reason, I got the perfect prize ..a book that shaped me in a lot of ways.

If I have to make my list of top 5 books on growing up, Black Beauty will be on the top. The whole life journey of Black Beauty from a  colt to an elegant horse, to a loyal companion to a "forever friend", I lived each moment with Black Beauty. I strongly feel that books are the best get-away from  the banality of life. They are a world of alternate possibilities, that opens up a treasure of people, places and times you can live even without living.

I feel my values of compassion,kindness, of being good to others, self esteem and dignity all this somewhere I learnt from Black Beauty. I still remember how I used to cry when Black Beauty was ill treated, and how much more I used to cry when I saw Black Beauty being a true friend. I think between those lines only, somewhere the foundation of my life were laid. I just knew that the only way to live a good life is to be considerate and kind to people around you, and all the good things in life will flow to you.

How I started reading - I have only one person to thank in this world for my love for books. And that is my mother. I still remember how even in the financial constraints of those days, she somehow managed to build a book collection for me. And it started with comics. One thing which she told me one and has always stuck with me is that you do not need to buy a book to be a reader. She said all you need to be a reader is the want to be one. I remember how in those days we used to get things wrapped in newspapers and book leafs, she would say even a vegetable vendor kid who has nothing to read, will make sure that he reads the tit bits of a paper he  comes across just to quench his thirst for words, if he wants to learn. Till date I aspire for that want, that thirst and I wish it never quenches. Thank you Ma ..thank you for telling me the true meaning of being a reader.

The books that made me cry - I am an emotional reader and become one with the book very soon. A lot of books make me cry , but here I am sharing a few top of the mind ones which also put me in a situation because I was in a public place when the book took over and my emotions started overflowing and making people around me wonder if I was OK. Like I so well remember I was travelling alone in a train when I finished Time Travellers wife. And man how I howled and sobbed when it ended. It was not that silent sob but actually a proper one with hiccups. And poor souls around me had no clue what to do or how to console me.

 The books that changed me
 Actually this calls for a complete separate post, as there are so many. At every stage of my life, books have carved my mind and my heart. They have in their own way been my guide, my teacher and a very dear friend. Few of these very close to my heart books are

Some of My book idiosyncrasies
1. I smell a book before I start reading it.
2. I always read the last lines of every book first. Crazy it may sound, but i really love it. Throughout the book I keep anticipating how will the story turn to meet those last lines.
3. I always read two books at a time, the other one I called the "Sandwich book" It is just like those coffee beans to neutrailse the taste
4. If i love a book too much I delay finishing it, by starting another before finishing that one.
5. More than the happiness I get from reading, I get it from making people read my favorites. It is such a wonderful feeling to induct someone to the same world you have been through

There are so many more things I want to tell, but looking at the size of the post I do not want to scare you even further. So the rest of it next time.

I will just end it with simple words -- " I Love my Books"


Saturday, December 21, 2013

Blessing In Disguise

I am an average looking girl . Not that striking beauty that meets you in the eye and flashes out your senses.

Attention : this is anything but a self-pity post. I love myself like nobody else loves me…

The point I am making is that my looks have been my blessing in disguise. I have been blessed with a lot of love in this life, by people too many… And what makes it special is that they love not the facia but what lies within. My ordinary looks made sure that they dig deep to find the real me. 

Photo Credit - Google Image

This post has been written as a part of Write Tribe's 100 words on a Saturday. The prompt is A blessing in disguise  given by Shilpa Garg.

Sweet Nothings

It looks like my blog has gone into hibernation matter how much I tried each day my pen would just not set on paper. I will not go into the Why's of not being able to write ... it just did not happen and now I want to get back ...Get back to my world of words where I am free to say all that comes to my mind, where my thoughts are not broken into "narrow domestic walls" and where my feelings flow freely. This is a place I belong the most because this is the only place where I never feel alone.

And now I know what a writer's block is. 

And so I thought let me break this chain and do a free flow... So here onwards yours truly is not to be judged for the goods and bads of this post ...  All that is gently drifting in my mind I shall be gently dribbling on this page.

Nothingness has always amazed me (Now don't ask me if that is even a word in the English Dictionary) .. I mean those moments when you feel nothing is moving, that feeling of spot jogging, going nowhere but being there, saying it all but communicating nothing, hearing it all but absorbing nothing ... in those moments of nothingness the predominant realisation of your existence ..of your presence,that feeling is something special. So basically what I am trying to say is that being on the run ..trying to get somewhere ... getting the trophy ... being in love ... all that is good and worth it but still you will sometime in your life be at a point where you will feel nothing. And in that moment, my friend, I want you to sit, savor  and relax. Relish that moment of nothingness.

I have a feeling that all of us have taken our lives a little too seriously. I mean, what's the hurry man !! I read somewhere that we are on a life long journey with a one way ticket. Just a one way that means all these platforms you are passing by, all the landscape, the green, the wind, the rain , the storm , the pillars and the posts ..all is just passing by never to return. So why this hurry to reach somewhere, when actually what you are running for is actually right there in that moment.

So while I was away from this blog ..not being able to write ..or more precisely not being able to think of anything special that I wanted to share ...I was in this state of nothingness. And I wont be wrong in saying that somewhere I did enjoy it.

All the days I was doing nothing, I read, I relaxed, I disciplined myself . I am proud to say that for the first time in my whole life I have followed a fitness regime that has lasted for more than 20 days. And I am still at it. I am happy that I have been able to sort out my head and its rumblings in these moments of nothingness.

And then came a day that I just started craving to come back to the real world..the place I belong..My castle of words and expressions. But did it happen. Oh yes... ofcourse not. There were drafts made, deleted, rewritten and re-deleted. It all started building up and in those moments of nothingness for the first time I discovered a fear. A fear that this would never end. That I had already shared all that I had in me with the world already. That I had lost my abilities to comprehend, write and share. That every word written on this planet is better and more meaningful than the one coming from my pen.

And one day being lost among all these thoughts, I wrote a SOS message to a dear friend Corinne, asking her to pull me out of this block. And did she help me ... Well don't you doubt... She is one person who lives by the words ---Pay it Forward, and I have a feeling that more than the satisfaction she gets in her own writings or the appreciation from those, she relishes being able to get the best out in others. So she gave a few magical words and tips (Which I cannot share here, as they are her copyright), but they did their magic.

And this time when I put my pen on paper it was there to stay.

So here's to all those moments of nothingness which made me realize how important writing is for me ...and here is a BIG Cheers to my friend Corinne for being there.