Kanyadaan is the most important wedding ritual which is a token that seals the deal. This is the moment when the Brides parents finally give away their daughter to the groom and hope and wish that he and his family will take good care of her. The emotional fool in me sheds a tear every time I witness this ritual. It may be as far a relation as my neighbours friends daughter getting married or as close as my new new sister in law. The finality of this moment and the realisation that the daughter has been handed over to her new life, always gives me shiver down the spine.
Kanyadaan which has been derived from Kanya (Daughter) + Daan (Donation) is said to be the noblest of all donations. It does take a strong and a giving heart to give away the most priced possession of your life, your daughter, in the hands of a stranger and let her go on her life journey without holding your hands. Since, this is considered to be an auspicious milestone of the parents life, in many regions of India, the parents of the bride fast the whole day of wedding. They only have food after the Kanyadaan is over and they have been relieved of their biggest responsibility in life.
It definitely is a moment of accomplishment for the parents. The day a girl comes to life, her mother starts dreaming of the day she will be a bride. So what if it gives her a pang of pain thinking that her princess will no longer be only hers, but at the same time the desire to see her happy and settled in her married life is the secret dream of every parent.
In a kanyadaan, once the father of the bride gives the hand of his daughter in the grooms hand, their hands are tied together, or they hold each others hand. This is emblematic of the unison of two hearts and souls forever. The relatives give their blessings to the bride's parents by throwing flower petals, congratulating them for the big moment.
Beautiful exposition, Apoorva. In South India, the daughter sits on the father's lap during Kanyadaan. You can imagine the series of 'Poor dad' comments that flow ;)
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Thanks Shailja.>Thanks for being a regular reader and I love those encouraging words
DeleteWow, so interesting. I'm always interested in learning new things, especially when it comes to rituals and cultural events. The finality of it would also send shivers down my spine. Thank you for sharing.
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ReplyDeleteI detest the word 'Kanyadaan'....the way giving away of daughters is treated in our culture!
ReplyDeleteGreat highlights of this ritual Shiva....but i so dislike this term yaar!
I agree ...more than giving away it should be about sharing and t the joy of seeing your sapling grow in new pastures
DeleteHow well you explain Kanyadaan. It is probably one of the most poignant moments of a wedding. Loving your theme.
ReplyDeleteIt is Suzy ... I only wish that each girl had the assurance that this act does not make her a stranger to her parents..It will always be the place where she belongs
DeleteI love how you are taking everyone through the 'indian wedding'... suddenly, I realise that almost all Indian Weddings (immaterial of caste or religion or region) have the 'kanyadaan'. We in the South have the same thing. There is a moment in the ceremony where everyone starts crying.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I'm not a fan of the ceremony, the idea of 'giving me away' is not very appealing but that's for another time. :)
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yes Maggie I know what that means.. And I am with you on that thought
Deletemost emotional part of the wedding! the joy of entering a new family while the sorrow of being separated by the people who meant the world!
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a-z participant
hey this is a good take on K !
ReplyDeletewell done !
Thanks Ananya!!!
DeleteGod I remember this one. At my wedding my mother got into an argument with the pandit saying it was all wrong to do a Daan of a daughter like she was a 'thing'. she said she refused to give up claim to me and would only share me with another family hee hee hee. The poor pandit was a bit zapped! It is indeed a very emotional moment for the parents.
ReplyDeleteIt's always interesting to read about the traditions of different cultures. I have seen parts of these ceremonies in films, but have no clue as to what's going on. I'm not much for formal weddings myself, but I like culture and traditions.
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