I Read so I am

As I was strolling mindlessly in the world of blogs, I bumped into theme from my dearest Richa Singh, the Philospher", which connects straight to my heart...I Read. So what if it is already late, as it can never be too late to talk about your love. The minute you want to show your love is just the perfect time to do that.

Books ... this word always rings such bells in my heart. The library of my imagination floats in front of me, when I think books and close my eyes. It gives me shivers when I imagine my life without books, without words, without expressions. And I am so sure that this feeling is not very unique to me..infact in the world we all connect..I mean the our blogging sphere, most of us have a special place for books in their lives. As nothing comes nearer to the truth than the fact that "A hand that never held a book, is not worthy of holding a pen to spread the magic of words" (Quote Credit - Yours truly)

As it always happens, the things that you hold close to your heart, are the toughest to talk about. And this happens because you always keep searching for the best things to say, keep looking for the fittest words that will tell the tale of your love, the way you feel. That is what I am currently struggling with, thinking where should I start and what should I tell. Should I  begin from the very beginning of this love affair, or share the high points of our relationship, or may be just tell you what my life would have been without books.

So I have decided to make this post a pot pourri. I will randomly talk about all that I very strongly feel about ba loo ba la books!!!

My first Book - The first book of my life that I proudly called my own was a very dear gift on my third birthday by one of my father's very close friend, whom I call "Durgesh Booa". It was a lovely looking book, with a big bun (I still remember how tempting it looked) on its cover page ...The book was a graphic book called "The Bun". Although I could not read and understand it completely at that age, but I still  remember how eagerly I used to turn each page, look at the pictures and form a story in my mind. However senseless it might have been, but my belief today that each book talks to you, and that each book is unique to its reader and tells a story the reader wants to read, I think has its root in this book. I cannot thank my Booa enough for introducing me to the love of my life.

My first Read - And somewhere between the "The Bun" and "Black Beauty" i grew up. Black Beauty is a book I met when I was in Class 3, and this is such a prized possession. Because this one I earned..I got it from my school principal for something they used to call "Proficiency in English". I wonder at that age did I even know what "Proficient" actually meant. But anyways, for the right or the wrong reason, I got the perfect prize ..a book that shaped me in a lot of ways.

If I have to make my list of top 5 books on growing up, Black Beauty will be on the top. The whole life journey of Black Beauty from a  colt to an elegant horse, to a loyal companion to a "forever friend", I lived each moment with Black Beauty. I strongly feel that books are the best get-away from  the banality of life. They are a world of alternate possibilities, that opens up a treasure of people, places and times you can live even without living.

I feel my values of compassion,kindness, of being good to others, self esteem and dignity all this somewhere I learnt from Black Beauty. I still remember how I used to cry when Black Beauty was ill treated, and how much more I used to cry when I saw Black Beauty being a true friend. I think between those lines only, somewhere the foundation of my life were laid. I just knew that the only way to live a good life is to be considerate and kind to people around you, and all the good things in life will flow to you.

How I started reading - I have only one person to thank in this world for my love for books. And that is my mother. I still remember how even in the financial constraints of those days, she somehow managed to build a book collection for me. And it started with comics. One thing which she told me one and has always stuck with me is that you do not need to buy a book to be a reader. She said all you need to be a reader is the want to be one. I remember how in those days we used to get things wrapped in newspapers and book leafs, she would say even a vegetable vendor kid who has nothing to read, will make sure that he reads the tit bits of a paper he  comes across just to quench his thirst for words, if he wants to learn. Till date I aspire for that want, that thirst and I wish it never quenches. Thank you Ma ..thank you for telling me the true meaning of being a reader.

The books that made me cry - I am an emotional reader and become one with the book very soon. A lot of books make me cry , but here I am sharing a few top of the mind ones which also put me in a situation because I was in a public place when the book took over and my emotions started overflowing and making people around me wonder if I was OK. Like I so well remember I was travelling alone in a train when I finished Time Travellers wife. And man how I howled and sobbed when it ended. It was not that silent sob but actually a proper one with hiccups. And poor souls around me had no clue what to do or how to console me.

 The books that changed me
 Actually this calls for a complete separate post, as there are so many. At every stage of my life, books have carved my mind and my heart. They have in their own way been my guide, my teacher and a very dear friend. Few of these very close to my heart books are

Some of My book idiosyncrasies
1. I smell a book before I start reading it.
2. I always read the last lines of every book first. Crazy it may sound, but i really love it. Throughout the book I keep anticipating how will the story turn to meet those last lines.
3. I always read two books at a time, the other one I called the "Sandwich book" It is just like those coffee beans to neutrailse the taste
4. If i love a book too much I delay finishing it, by starting another before finishing that one.
5. More than the happiness I get from reading, I get it from making people read my favorites. It is such a wonderful feeling to induct someone to the same world you have been through

There are so many more things I want to tell, but looking at the size of the post I do not want to scare you even further. So the rest of it next time.

I will just end it with simple words -- " I Love my Books"

Shiva

Blessing In Disguise

I am an average looking girl . Not that striking beauty that meets you in the eye and flashes out your senses.

Attention : this is anything but a self-pity post. I love myself like nobody else loves me…

The point I am making is that my looks have been my blessing in disguise. I have been blessed with a lot of love in this life, by people too many… And what makes it special is that they love not the facia but what lies within. My ordinary looks made sure that they dig deep to find the real me. 

Photo Credit - Google Image

This post has been written as a part of Write Tribe's 100 words on a Saturday. The prompt is A blessing in disguise  given by Shilpa Garg.

Sweet Nothings

It looks like my blog has gone into hibernation ...no matter how much I tried each day my pen would just not set on paper. I will not go into the Why's of not being able to write ... it just did not happen and now I want to get back ...Get back to my world of words where I am free to say all that comes to my mind, where my thoughts are not broken into "narrow domestic walls" and where my feelings flow freely. This is a place I belong the most because this is the only place where I never feel alone.

And now I know what a writer's block is. 

And so I thought let me break this chain and do a free flow... So here onwards yours truly is not to be judged for the goods and bads of this post ...  All that is gently drifting in my mind I shall be gently dribbling on this page.

Nothingness has always amazed me (Now don't ask me if that is even a word in the English Dictionary) .. I mean those moments when you feel nothing is moving, that feeling of spot jogging, going nowhere but being there, saying it all but communicating nothing, hearing it all but absorbing nothing ... in those moments of nothingness the predominant realisation of your existence ..of your presence,that feeling is something special. So basically what I am trying to say is that being on the run ..trying to get somewhere ... getting the trophy ... being in love ... all that is good and worth it but still you will sometime in your life be at a point where you will feel nothing. And in that moment, my friend, I want you to sit, savor  and relax. Relish that moment of nothingness.

I have a feeling that all of us have taken our lives a little too seriously. I mean, what's the hurry man !! I read somewhere that we are on a life long journey with a one way ticket. Just a one way ticket..so that means all these platforms you are passing by, all the landscape, the green, the wind, the rain , the storm , the pillars and the posts ..all is just passing by never to return. So why this hurry to reach somewhere, when actually what you are running for is actually right there in that moment.

So while I was away from this blog ..not being able to write ..or more precisely not being able to think of anything special that I wanted to share ...I was in this state of nothingness. And I wont be wrong in saying that somewhere I did enjoy it.

All the days I was doing nothing, I read, I relaxed, I disciplined myself . I am proud to say that for the first time in my whole life I have followed a fitness regime that has lasted for more than 20 days. And I am still at it. I am happy that I have been able to sort out my head and its rumblings in these moments of nothingness.

And then came a day that I just started craving to come back to the real world..the place I belong..My castle of words and expressions. But did it happen. Oh yes... ofcourse not. There were drafts made, deleted, rewritten and re-deleted. It all started building up and in those moments of nothingness for the first time I discovered a fear. A fear that this would never end. That I had already shared all that I had in me with the world already. That I had lost my abilities to comprehend, write and share. That every word written on this planet is better and more meaningful than the one coming from my pen.

And one day being lost among all these thoughts, I wrote a SOS message to a dear friend Corinne, asking her to pull me out of this block. And did she help me ... Well don't you doubt... She is one person who lives by the words ---Pay it Forward, and I have a feeling that more than the satisfaction she gets in her own writings or the appreciation from those, she relishes being able to get the best out in others. So she gave a few magical words and tips (Which I cannot share here, as they are her copyright), but they did their magic.

And this time when I put my pen on paper it was there to stay.

So here's to all those moments of nothingness which made me realize how important writing is for me ...and here is a BIG Cheers to my friend Corinne for being there.


Shiva

Beads of nature

Beads of nature

lining up to bloom and ripe

world green in envy

Written for the Write Tribe Contest: picture haiku -  where we have to interpret the picture taken by the man with the vision - Phenomenon  through a haiku. This is my first attempt on Haiku after a lot of struggle. 

Shiva

Would I press rewind

Would I press rewind...

Every once in a while

This thought crosses my mind

Would I turn back the time

Would I press rewind…

Go back to the time

When life was flowing

Like an unbridled river

And love was a certainty

Would I caution myself

Would I deter

When eyes met eyes

and I started dreaming

Dreams of togetherness

Dreams of sunshine

Dreams of you and me

Dreams that were not to be

Or go back to the moment

When love left us

When you moved on

And I kept waiting

They say love is eternal

For me the wait is

Sometimes it gets all mixed up

Waiting to end and no ending to wait

Every once in that while

I tell the time

All my moments are mine

And I shall never rewind

This has been a Free Write of fifteen minutes that I missed earlier and this is written for a 100 words on saturday  prompt by my very own Richa Singh ... Oops but Sorry my free flow could not be contained in 100 words... But do forgive as only  Once in a while one comes across such a great thought provoking prompt 

Happy Birthday Darlings

My Darling Duos

It’s your Birthday today, and it so happens that just at the moment when I was wondering what special thing can I do for my sweethearts on their special day, and that too sitting nearly 5000 Kms away from both of them , Hrishikesh’s prompt on Unsent Letters is up…and can you believe whom we have to write to this time …to our siblings …or more precisely to someone with whom we share an invisible bond … Isn't it surreal…

Words … we never needed that medium to feel or express the love we have for each other..it has been there for us …invisible and unsaid from the time we did not even know it existed. Growing up would not have been so much fun if not with the both of you.

My childhood memories would have been colourless, insipid and dull if they were not full of all the mischief, the drama, the strong held secrets, the frowns, the squabbles, the fights, the laughter, the togetherness we shared. I feel so blessed with both of you around. I don’t want to be modest … I know I have the best brothers in the whole world ..and it is definitely not a cliché because with so many years behind me now I have seen quite a few good ,bad and average brothers and I know that my “Double Pack” is simply the BEST!!!

God was super happy with me some good years back, and so he  decided to present me with the best “Double Deal” he had ever made …he sent me two angels...bundled in one gift wrap. The only grudge I have against him is that he could not hold his excitement for some 3-4 years more. I would have loved to be big enough to receive both of you in my lap… But as HE would have it, I was just a year old when we met J

But that’s OK. He has compensated in many ways after that. I have been so lucky to have been able to spend whole of my childhood and almost all my years till now with both of you around. I may have never told you, but you are the “Colgate Suraksha Chakra” for me … Despair, sadness, sorrow, darkness …nothing ever succeeded to cross that protection cover and reach me.

So on my special day, let me tell you few of the happy memories that we share and that I hold very close to my heart. Memories I cherish and relive constantly …

TV Smashers – You remember the day when we would have been 4-5 years old, and Ma had left us in the room and was busy in the kitchen. And the naughty trio decided to clean up the whole place. And after putting everything in its place, the only thing that was distracting us was that loose black wire that ran right in the center of the room. And so we, the smart kids, decided to make it tight. Instantly we knew what needed to be done. Confidently, we put a cloth across the wire and all three of us together started pulling it. And SMASHHHHHH came the sound and our Black and While TV set was on the floor. Ofcourse what followed was an even bigger noise of Ma screaming at us and cursing her fate to have been blessed with heavenly kids like us.  As soon as she left I remember our rejoice, as we knew that now what will follow will be a coloured TV replacement. 

Door Bell Kids – Those summer vacation afternoons when we had nothing much exciting left to do, we would venture out in the neighborhood, and ring door bells for all the aunties we did not like. I am still to figure out a better thrill. Imagining the all-the-time-ready-to-fight aunts , getting up from their siesta and coming to the door and not finding anybody is so appeasing till date

Glass Breakers – Every time any one of us broke a glass it was the most dreaded moment. Breaking the glass was OK, but breaking this news to Ma …unimaginable. I still remember how much we shivered telling Ma that one of her  glass set is no longer complete. And so it became a highly confidential and strongly held secret between the three of us. And more than that it was a strategic weapon to blackmail each other and get those undue favors like the last cookie in the box, or that extra Maggie.

Remote Fighters – Watching television is so much less fun now, when I am staying alone. No one to change the channel, no one to hide the remote and no one to switch off the main power switch for the TV to not let the other one watch their favorite show.

Kutta Billi Bhalu – And this one is my favorite. I remember three of us were ferociously fighting over something when Ma came and in her cant-take-it-any-more tone shouted on us ..”Kutta Billi Bhalu ki Tarah Ladte ho tum log” (You all fight like cats,dogs and bears) and the moment she left the scene, all three of us very seriously started contemplating that according to her who was who. And finally I being the elder one concluded, since I am the bigger one I am “Bhalu” (Bear), Archit is the sweet one, so he is “Billi” (Cat) and Rochit being the naughtier he is “Kutta” (Dog)

There are so many more memories that I cherish … the memories of growing up, the memories of affection, the memories of togetherness …  all those are special and colourful only because they have both of you in them. I am what I am today because I have grown up in a particular way. And I have grown up in every sense only with both of you. My sensitivities, my sensibilities, my values, my virtues, my vices, my will, my ambition and my strength all comes from both of you.

On this day, like any other day, I thank the Almighty to have blessed me with brothers like you…I wish you abundance in life … and abundance never comes from outside. It is always within. I wish both of you always feel happy and good about wherever you reach in life and whatever you do. In light as in Darkness, the only assurance and the only permanence that I offer you is my hand. It will always be with you. Not to guide you or protect you, because  I know you don’t need it. Only to be Together.

Love Always

Shiva

Your Second Birthday

2012 New Year Dinner

Three Chipmunks

This is written for a prompt Unsent Letters at Write Tribe.

The Mismatch Girl

The second alarm of 8:30 had also gone unnoticed and Shubha was still in her bed. Ma’s voice jolted her out.

“Oh God! I’m late for my music class…”

But why was she not rushing???

Silently and slowly she picked up her blue towel and went for bath. When she came out she was wearing a yellow kurti with bottle green salwar. Her wet golden brown hair were drooping on her shoulders.  She was truly alive for a new day.

Oh! but why is she wearing one white and one black footwear???

For Shubha all colours are same - Black!!!

Shiva

This piece of fiction is in response to two prompts 

The prompt of "Colored" at WOW  and the prompt of "Truly Alive" for  100 words On Saturday at WT 

Ancient Ruins

Ancient ruins 

Beauty Within

Callous and Carefree

Dainty sitting

Ruminating soon will she be ancient too???

This is my first attempt to ABC poetry, where first four lines are alphabetically arranged, and the last line ends with a random alphabet.

This picture is of a Bengal Tigress and was taken at the Taman Safari, Jakarta. Bengal Tigers , an amazingly elegant and beautiful tiger species which is in the endangered category. My plea - Save the Tiger

Shiva

To be or Not to Be

To be or Not to be

Hope deserts the soul

Love, a faraway dream

To be or not to be

A defeated being’s scream

A sinking heart

And a dying spirit

A path not traveled

A life not lived

Dreams undreamt

Realities unseen

Unexpressed love

Unfelt feeling

So much yet to do

So much to see

So much yet to say

So much to be

If your life is not

Just your own

How your death

Could ever be

It’s a fight to the finish

Finished it has to be

But a finish without a fight

Never was the way, never will be

It’s a moment of impulse

It’s a moment of defeat

It’s that solitary moment

When you give up and quit

That moment needs a hand

To hold on to

That moment needs a voice

To cling on to

Just let it go

That moment… that thought

It just takes a belief

That it too shall pass!

Think of those eyes

For whom the world is you

Think of that scary emptiness

The vacuum… you’ll leave them to

Yes, you are born alone

But die you never will

So many lives you touched

Will be lifeless and still

Be brave my friend

Hold on to life

This is a gift to cherish

Pass it on and make it worthwhile!!!

This is a poem I have written for Write Tribe as part of the World Suicide Prevention Day awareness program. I have encountered two suicide cases  in my life, and I have seen what despair and remorse they leave back. I feel guilty that I could not help those souls to go on fighting and not quit. But if this reaches a single person contemplating "to be or not to be" and it jolts him back to living, I will consider it worth my life.

Shiva

Ode to Mother Earth

Mother Earth Reflection

She has been there, with you, for you, since the start,

Nourishing you and nurturing you with all her heart,

She was smiling when you opened your little eyes to her,

And held you in her green arms when you walked with her.

The walk to school would not have been the same,

If not for her green guards standing tall,

The summer afternoons would not be so much fun,

Without those plums and mangoes and her breezy prowl.

The morning freshness waited each dawn by your window,

To wish a good day ahead for you,

The chirps, the floral breeze and the first sun rays,

Enchanted the morning song just for you.

The first rain drops of every season,

The first rain call of the frogs around,

Spotting a rainbow, walking in the rain,

She gave you her gifts of love in abound.

These are memories now of the past,

When she gave you the best in bountiful,

That was then and this is now, time has turned

She is now shattered and pale, who was once colorful.

You basked in her warmth, slept in her lap,

Exploited her to all extremes and turned your back,

You were but a selfish son and a careless father you will be,

The coming generation will curse you, and so it has to be.

The changes took baby steps and gave you warning enough,

But you turned a blind eye, in your lust to be first.

The soil is eroding, the land degrading; the air has polluted stealth,

The ice is melting and sea is rising to get the kiss of death.

Your children will be the witness; they will see the mother die,

They will have no company, no fish to swim, no bird to fly.

All they will have is an unanswered question,

All what will remain is an unheard cry.

Wake up now, its now or never,

You can no more turn deaf to the tremor.

The mother earth is calling for you,

It’s your turn now to return the favour.

This is a poem I wrote on Environment day. Posting it for the .indiblogeshwaris-that-tuesday-thingy prompt.

Shiva

Same Same but Different

Spot the Difference

Day “Seven” *** Object “The Divine Duo”*** Disclaimer “It’s not a mirror image and yet it is” Cameraman “Your Truly”

So we come to the last day of the Write Tribe Festival. Before I say anything my heartfelt bow to all the UBC challengersrs  … You Guys rock!!! Just seven days and I am struggling already and you guys managed it for 31 days … This is incredible!!!

So, coming to my Day 7 picture … My most favorite thing in this whole world are my twin brothers Archit and Rochit … They are my colour Pink (Know more about this in colours-of-my-life The best “Buy One Get One” offer I got till date. September is their Birthday month; God sent them to us on the 25^th day of the Ninth month. Ma had a normal delivery, so they were handed over to us at a time gap of twenty minutes. (Well, just to clarify, I was only 1 year 1 month old, when they came.) So with this twenty minutes gap, one became elder and one younger, assuming, Papa didn’t mix them up till the time an identification black thread was tied to the elder one, Archit.

They were absolutely identical. Ma tells me there were instances when one was fed milk two times and the other one deprived of his share. As Kids, the duo was madly famous in our neighborhood. People would come to our house asking them to be dressed in identical clothes and would take them all around the locality.

We share a special bond … I am the only person who has till date never mixed them up .. I just know who is who … Even today in old pictures, where Ma Papa cannot differentiate the two of them, my word is the final. As kids, we grew up together as a unit, and even till date we don’t need to see or hear each other to know what the other person is upto.

So to end the festival of Words, which has seven as the theme; let me tell you seven things that make both of them replicas and yet seven other things that makes them their individual selves.

SAME SAME STORY

1.            Both of them have the exact same face cut, features and height.

2.            Both of them are great painters. I have already shared one artwork by Rochit.(gods-own-eyes)

3.            Both of them love to eat.

4.            As kids, both of them fell sick for the same reason at the same time.

5.            Both of them are 1000 times more responsible and sincere than me. They are the “ideal boy” kinds

6.            Both of them are the nicest and most humble people I know.

7.            Both of them love me the most, and will go to any length and breadth to see a smile on my face.

BUT DIFFERENT STORY

 1.  While Rochit relishes non vegetarian food, Archit till date has not even tasted anything moving.

2.  While Rochit is the Sunny Deol, Archit is the Sanjeev Kumar of the house. Basically Rochit a No-Nonsense Guy and Archit – Wont Hurt a Fly guy.

3.  Rochit loves to drive, Archit never tried his hands on driving. He believes in being chauffeur driven (in his case his driver is Rochit)

4.    Rochit is a BIG cricket fan, will watch 1993 cricket match between Australia and England with rapt attention, and Archit only watches Daily Soaps on Start Plus and Colours.

5.  Rochit is a Papa’s kid and Archit the perennial Mumma’s boy.

6. Rochit can only make Maggie and tea, and Archit is the “Sanjeev Kapoor” ..makes delicacies which even Ma cannot.

7.    Rochit is the slogger and Archit the Royal Highness …   

If you ask me, I love both my Precious, just the same, for all the same same and different reasons. I cannot imagine my life without them.. They inspire me … I want to be them… Sensitive, emotional, caring, loving and humble.

Shiva

I am celebrating the Write Tribe Festival of Wordsand will be posting every day for seven days, starting 1st September. The theme for the Festival of Words is “seven“.  I have decided to post  my top 7 photographs which I hold very close to my heart. 

The Golden City of the East

Day 6 *** Location - Imambara Lucknow *** Cameraman - "As always*** 

Shaane Lucknow ….

A city of Nawabs, a city of Kebabs ..a city of culture, a city of mannerisms and demeanor  …a city of sepia tones …a city of smiles …a royal city ... my city …city of Lucknow…

There is a famous adage that goes like this … “Muskariye ki Aap Lucknow Mein Hain” which means smile as you are in Lucknow. And I feel this line defines the city. 

So, here is a sneak peek into 7 must see places in the city, which will tickle you to come here and realize for yourself the charm and the heritage of this place.

Bara Imambara

A tale of architecture ... an artwork of grandeur ... a depiction of royalty

Clock Tower

 For a happy Go Lucky at ease city, this may seem out of place..but they say it has the biggest clock of its times

Chota Imambara

A marble piece

Roomi Darwaza A Gateway to the Kingdom of Rulers

British Residency

Abode to many during the 1857 Mutiny,,still carries the scars of the battle

Bhool Bhullaya

                          A perfect place to be get lost. The maze you would not want to come out of...

Begum Hazrat Mahal Park   
Memoirs of the Lady who fought ... 1857 Mutiny warrior

The Lucknow of today is the blend of old and new, fast and slow, heritage and modernity ... I love the city because it lets you be. It doesn't force you to run and nor hinders your sprint. You can choose your pace and enjoy the choice your way....

At end all I have to say is...

"Kisme hai Dam ki Hamse Chhudhaye Lucknow

Lucknow Ham Par Fida hai ..Ham Fidaye Lucknow"

(Who has the guts to take me out of Lucknow..

I am in love with Lucknow, and Lucknow in Love with me)

Disclaimer - All the pictures except the first and the last, are courtesy Google. 

I am celebrating the Write Tribe Festival of Words and will be posting every day for seven days, starting 1st September. The theme for the Festival of Words is “seven“.  I have decided to post 7 photographs made by me which I hold very close to my heart.