Sweet Nothings

It looks like my blog has gone into hibernation ...no matter how much I tried each day my pen would just not set on paper. I will not go into the Why's of not being able to write ... it just did not happen and now I want to get back ...Get back to my world of words where I am free to say all that comes to my mind, where my thoughts are not broken into "narrow domestic walls" and where my feelings flow freely. This is a place I belong the most because this is the only place where I never feel alone.

And now I know what a writer's block is. 

And so I thought let me break this chain and do a free flow... So here onwards yours truly is not to be judged for the goods and bads of this post ...  All that is gently drifting in my mind I shall be gently dribbling on this page.

Nothingness has always amazed me (Now don't ask me if that is even a word in the English Dictionary) .. I mean those moments when you feel nothing is moving, that feeling of spot jogging, going nowhere but being there, saying it all but communicating nothing, hearing it all but absorbing nothing ... in those moments of nothingness the predominant realisation of your existence ..of your presence,that feeling is something special. So basically what I am trying to say is that being on the run ..trying to get somewhere ... getting the trophy ... being in love ... all that is good and worth it but still you will sometime in your life be at a point where you will feel nothing. And in that moment, my friend, I want you to sit, savor  and relax. Relish that moment of nothingness.

I have a feeling that all of us have taken our lives a little too seriously. I mean, what's the hurry man !! I read somewhere that we are on a life long journey with a one way ticket. Just a one way ticket..so that means all these platforms you are passing by, all the landscape, the green, the wind, the rain , the storm , the pillars and the posts ..all is just passing by never to return. So why this hurry to reach somewhere, when actually what you are running for is actually right there in that moment.

So while I was away from this blog ..not being able to write ..or more precisely not being able to think of anything special that I wanted to share ...I was in this state of nothingness. And I wont be wrong in saying that somewhere I did enjoy it.

All the days I was doing nothing, I read, I relaxed, I disciplined myself . I am proud to say that for the first time in my whole life I have followed a fitness regime that has lasted for more than 20 days. And I am still at it. I am happy that I have been able to sort out my head and its rumblings in these moments of nothingness.

And then came a day that I just started craving to come back to the real world..the place I belong..My castle of words and expressions. But did it happen. Oh yes... ofcourse not. There were drafts made, deleted, rewritten and re-deleted. It all started building up and in those moments of nothingness for the first time I discovered a fear. A fear that this would never end. That I had already shared all that I had in me with the world already. That I had lost my abilities to comprehend, write and share. That every word written on this planet is better and more meaningful than the one coming from my pen.

And one day being lost among all these thoughts, I wrote a SOS message to a dear friend Corinne, asking her to pull me out of this block. And did she help me ... Well don't you doubt... She is one person who lives by the words ---Pay it Forward, and I have a feeling that more than the satisfaction she gets in her own writings or the appreciation from those, she relishes being able to get the best out in others. So she gave a few magical words and tips (Which I cannot share here, as they are her copyright), but they did their magic.

And this time when I put my pen on paper it was there to stay.

So here's to all those moments of nothingness which made me realize how important writing is for me ...and here is a BIG Cheers to my friend Corinne for being there.


Shiva